R&R: Role and Responsibility
I’ve had a variety of jobs in my past: librarian, teacher, professor, musician, camp bus driver, event planner, retail sales associate, administrator, security guard, usher. Of all the jobs of my past I currently have one job that has demanding hours, challenging customers, ongoing professional development, physical, mental, and emotional stress, and although exhausting this job has been the most fulfilling. This isn’t my role as Acton’s Director it’s my job as parent and Mom. The role of a parent is both laborious and glorious and the toughest job I’ve ever had the privilege to hold.
This Wednesday we had our second Parent Lunch Meeting of the year where as a community we explored our parent role in our young hero’s life. In the arduous journey of parenting enters the beauty of community, fellow traveler parents! During our lunch meeting many parents shared a similar sentiment. “It’s comforting and exciting to know that the current challenges I’m facing with my child is normal and universal amongst Acton families.” “It’s surprising and comforting to hear other parents assure me that it’s the first year and it’ll loosen up.” “It’s amazing that I share a big current challenge and other parents nod and say ‘oh yeah’. It’s nice to know that it’s not just my family.”
During the meeting, parents focused on connecting to one another with stories. I loved hearing the beautiful story of modeling that one new Spark Mom Ellen shared. To paraphrase, Ellen returned to her passion of quilting and after her son observed her love to quilt he then got interested and joyfully has now created multiple quilts of his very own. Ellen shared that her old strategy of pushing projects tended to fail while her new modeling strategy is now a treasured adventure. Ellen’s story is a happy and wondrous encouragement to many parents however stories don’t always have a happy ending.
As I walked around and listened to different parent running teams share I also heard great challenges of getting to school on time, supporting motivation of learners, and figuring out the line of pushing and allowing independence. The good, the hard, the confusing, and the silly are all part of the journey. One parent shared “As soon as I let go it goes so much better, but it’s so hard to let go!” Immediately following another parent shared “I want to let go but then I have the opposite experience and when I let go my daughter spends the entire morning sorting and resorting her stuffed animals and then we are 30 minutes late to school!” Every child is unique and what may work for one family may not work for another. Knowing that the path is not straight or easy is perhaps the only truth we Acton parents can share. In the words of one veteran Acton Dad “trust the process!”
The role of a parent at Acton and the responsibility we all have to our community of learners (of which we are one too) is big and still developing. I definitely don’t have all the answers and I have WAY more questions. Questions I need your help with were posed this past Wednesday and I’m hoping we can keep the conversation going next parent lunch meeting in July. Here’s some questions to explore.
As an Acton parent….
What is your role and responsibility to your child?
What is your responsibility to our school community?
What is your responsibility to yourself?
With all the questions and the insecurity of parenting I’ve found one essential ingredient, and honestly I’ve found it the hard way! This essential is self-care. This buzz word isn’t just a fad it’s truly imperative to the journey of a parent. Just like they say on the airplanes, first put on your oxygen mask before you help your child with theirs. Just like Ellen, just like Guides at Acton, just like the flight attendants share, modeling 101 means to first give yourself space to be you and to find your passion.
As you continue your Acton journey here is one call to action. Take a moment for R&R every day, whether it is 5 seconds, minutes, or more and remind yourself “I am a hero on my own adventure.”