Model Learner Mode
If you’ve visited a Coffee Connect, an Acton Exhibition, or if your learner is chatty about their day you most likely know about being a model learner. Just in case you’ve missed this term, a model learner is simply a learner at Acton who models everyone’s shared values of kindness, work-ethic, and helpfulness. Specifically in the Spark Studio, model learners are your go-to person that you take the lead from and ask for help. They are someone to follow if you are having trouble with keeping your Studio Promises or following the Launch ROE’s (Rules of Engagement)
At Acton, we celebrate these learners with “oooo’s” and “aaaa’s” as they exhibit model learner qualities. “Wow, you organized these cubbies without even asking, you are so helpful!” “You really modeled kindness and patience when your friend was frustrated, that must have been hard.” This acknowledgement is the best hero’s treasure and it helps learners feel the experience of building character. Everyone wants to get that end of the week character call-0ut from a friend and they also love receiving the in-the-moment acknowledgement of being a hero to watch.
Children are sponges, they absorb energy, they copy, mimic, and they are always watching and listening, yes even when we thought they weren’t! Think to yourself right now, where do you desire for your child to grow? Do you want them to empathize more, identify their emotions, pick up their belongings, improve their work ethic, love reading, or have better table manners? Whatever it is, take a moment right now and decide one thing that you’d like to help them improve……
Now, here’s the trick. Instead of telling them what to do or talking through the dragon you’ve identified, take a step back from navigation mode and instead take a step forward in role-play also known as model mode. Here’s an example. Instead of declaring that manners need to improve at the dinner table perhaps start modeling your “excuse me’s” and your “thank you’s” a bit more emphatically. If your child takes your cue, acknowledge this big moment! “Wow, it makes me feel so good when you say thank you!” If they don’t take your cue simply keep doing it (it may take some time) or invite your partner or another child to play this role-play too.
Here’s another example related to academics. I noticed my daughter mostly enjoyed reading and at night she humored me by reading chapter books aloud. She didn’t like silent reading so I stepped in to role play. I shared my excitement of a new book I wanted to read and I asked if we could read each of our books together instead of out loud. After one night she was hooked and she loves sharing the “juicy bits” as she progresses to the next chapter. Sitting together in bed with our books is our new favorite thing.
As parents we have been taught to tell, direct, and mold our child into our image or into who we believe they should be. I argue that there’s another way to nurture character qualities and to guide your child to discover who they want to become. Former Miami Heat NBA hero Dwayne Wade spoke publicly to his trans daughter Zaya about what he learned as her parent. He proudly shared “You taught me that communication with my mouth isn’t enough. I also have to communicate with my two ears and my two eyes. As your father, my job isn’t to create a version of myself or direct your future, my role is to be a facilitator to your hopes, your wishes, your dreams.”
Your children are looking to you, they are taking your lead as they discover who they want to become. As you move forward on your journey consider modeling more at home. Model manners, model kindness, helpfulness, and express your feelings and your experience with your child. When you are slaying your own metaphorical dragon don’t hide this experience, instead model. Although it may seem weak to some, the most powerful thing you can say to your child is “I don’t know but I’d like to find out.”
Our children are watching, how will you lead?