When I grow up…
My son quietly sat in the backseat as we drove home from after school activities. It was calmly quiet and all of a sudden I hear him gasp with excitement! He shares “Can I tell you what I want to be when I grow up?” With intrigue I said “Yes, I would love to know.” My 5 year old son then rippled with words. “I decided I want to be Architecture! I am so good at building and drawing and I love buildings so I think…my new passion is architecture and I’m really sorry but I changed my mind. I wanted to be a pizza maker but I have to change! Is that ok?” My heart burst with joy that this Quest deeply inspired my son and my heart broke that he felt he needed to choose his profession now, that it may not be ok to change. I thought: Does he need to decide this or can he just love building?
We continued to talk about why he loved this Building Quest. He shared he loved drawing and having ideas and making them happen and then he switched to apologize again for changing his mind. I then shared that I changed my mind too. As a child I wanted to be the US President, then as an adult I became a classical musician and professor. Then when he was a baby I changed my mind again and started Acton. It’s ok to change and it’s ok to be MANY things! My son then said “yes I am so many things. I am an architect, a chef, a great drawer, a builder of shops, and I think some other things too.”
This conversation stayed with me and that lingering idea of choosing a career path now just felt wrong even though I chose one as a child and our society, me included, regularly asks children the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” As harmless as this question may seem it’s actually the worst question to ask a child. Not only do adults typically try to help children tie their interest to a future job but many of the jobs we have now may change drastically when our children are ready for the work force. Probably most importantly this question misses the amazing people our children are right now!
Every Quest at Acton is a celebration of curiosity, passion, and learning over a multi-week journey. The power of one Quest may inspire a career path or it may inspire a learner to gain confidence in expressing themselves through drawing, building, writing, cooking, acting or it may inspire them to simply try again if they don’t like the topic. Every Quest is a journey to learn who you want to be not what you want be.
At Acton, Quest learning focuses on character, the who, rather than career. Sure there is a deep dive of knowledge and there is a final project and many steps along the way however the most important part of every Quest is the process of failure, dilemmas that apply to real-life, and the value of reflection. It isn’t about being the best Architect, instead every Quest is about effort, discovery, lessons learned, and the qualities of a hero.
The power of Quests isn’t to find a passionate career, Quests inspire the love to be a life-long learner. As we close this session I encourage you to join me in percolating on this common question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Here are articles from the New York Times and Raising Empowered Kids to help scratch your head. As you ponder, I encourage you to celebrate your child now. Do they have amazing curiosity, a spirit for adventure, a keen eye for observation? Since we can’t change other adults from asking this age-old question perhaps we can model a different answer for our children.
For me, what do I want to be when I grow up? I’d like to beam with wonder like a child. I want to be full of joy, full of questions, and equally proud and humble. I want to bravely jump into adventure and try new things like the children of Acton, my heroes!