Trust

When a learner has a splinter stuck in her finger or when a learner is missing his Mom for the third day in a row and is at a loss for words I often ask “do you trust me?” Honestly, I need to know. I need to know what faith they have in me before I say or do anything next. I’m always so taken by the beautiful big eyes that look back at me and the sweet chin that dips down and up signally “yes, I trust you with everything I have.” It is this trust that I safeguard and it is because of this big-eyed and whole-hearted trust that I and all our Acton Guides are committed to reciprocating trust. We trust learners even in the hardest times.

We trust them to make decisions, we trust them to work hard, we trust in their desire to learn, we trust they will teach each other, we trust in their ability to find joy, we trust they will seek help when they need it, we trust that they will be honest, and we trust that they will change the world one decision, one voice, one step at a time. 

Yesterday a learner was having a spat with two others (a common triangle) that led to a few unkind words, her tears, and their mild attempts at consolation. The learner’s Guide and I stepped back during the scuffle since all learners were safe and we trusted their need to work through conflict albeit loud. After the dust settled I checked in with the teary learner as she cooled off in the library. We talked about her hurt and how they all broke their studio promise of friendship. I asked her “how important is repairing your friendship?” she shared “it’s important but I don’t know if we can fix it”. She looked at me with her doubtful teary eyes and I stared back and asked “do you trust me?” She gave me an obvious face and said “yeah” and with her words of trust I shared “I trust you too and know you have the tools to know what to do next” and then I walked away. Very soon they were all smiling, dancing, and making up songs. I’m not sure exactly what happened next but I trust that yesterday and many days in the future she’ll work it out. I trust her and I trust all our learners to trust in themselves. They can do hard things. 

At Acton our methodology is founded on trust so that learners  develop resiliency and a life of meaning. As parents on your own hero’s journey consider stepping back at times and trusting that they have all the tools they need.

“Self-trust is the essence of heroism.” ––Ralph Waldo Emerson