To Be or Not To Be..Involved?
3, November 1560
Dearest Parental Readers,
The Acton kingdom is swirling with excitement of the young playwright William Shakespeare and his variety of theatrical works. His recent tragic story of Prince Hamlet has inspired both action and thought in the Discovery and Spark households. Shakespeare’s soliloquy states “To be, or not to be, that is the question.” This question poses the idea of how to live. Just as Shakespeare’s words beg the question of life I urge you, my most honorable parental readers, to consider this question: To be or not to be involved? What does parental involvement, true engagement in being look and feel like?
With this perplexing question of when and how and even if to be involved I would like to offer my perspective of the happenings and strategy of Noble Guides in the kingdom and how they navigate being. As your Lady of Communication here is the process in a few vignettes. Imagine this, you notice two young craftspeople argue over who was to work with select craft materials first. They both state they want the material first and become both disgruntled and boisterous. The house is distracted and it seems a resolution is far in the distance. What say you, do you meddle in the affairs of these members or do you wait? For the Noble Guides they simply notice and look at the time keeping device and ask themselves these questions: Are these members safe? Do these members have tools to guide resolution? If yes, the Noble Guides wait and plan to watch and wait for a maximum of 5 minutes without a single meddle! Time and time again resolution surfaces at minute 4 and time keeping ceases need. It is not a Noble Guide that is needed instead it is an opportunity for another watchful member to decide to help. They may offer empathy, strategy, or a reminder. The Noble Guides trust the members to wade through the mud to find far greater treasure themselves.
Imagine this, a young royal is confused on how to gain an education in mathematics and often avoids numbers and instead gravitates towards language daily. What say you, do you meddle in the choice of affairs of this member or do you wait? A Noble Guide does not meddle, a Noble Guide watches and if they cross the path of this member the Noble Guide offers an observation and a question, never an urgent push or requirement. This thought is often offered “I’ve noticed that you’ve been working with language frequently. Are you interested in entertaining math today and changing your path or will you stick to your recent routine? Do you desire something new or comfort?” Think of a Noble Guide as “being” an offerer of possible paths. The choice is the members to make.
It is deeply confusing and difficult to know when to involve in being helpful or being supportive. I recently chatted with a parental reader and shared insights that if a parent is helping an Acton member they must first ask rather than do. Perhaps the simplest of “Do you need help with your shoes or do you need time?” or “Do you need help making a plan or do you want me to listen?” Ask yourself and your house member if they need your action or your presence of belief in their being. If you’d like more guidance from the perspective of Noble Guides, here’s a tool that they frequently use to guide the journey of being.
The Acton kingdom greatly values the winding and wonderful journey of learning to be for children and adults. Being a parent does not always mean doing, it can also mean being less involved verbally and physically and more engaged in observation and cheer. So, dearest parental readers this next week in our kingdom who will you be? Are you to wait and see or will you direct and do? Are you to be a questioner or are you to be a director? Perhaps a change in your course will allow you to embrace the surprise and growth of your young house member. Until next time my beloved parental readers, I look forward to see what Shakespearean role you may take on your hero’s journey through the Acton kingdom!