Learn to Learn

Learn to learn, learn to do, learn to be. This is a common Acton phrase and a tagline we have framed on the wall that learners pass by every day. During a Guide squad meeting this past Tuesday this Acton phrase came up. One Guide shared “I always forget the order and want to say do first.” I shared that remembering will be easy once you understand the connection of the words. I’d like to share this thought with you too in case you’ve wondered the why behind this tagline.

Learn to learn—a learner explores how their brain works, their best habits, and how they consume concepts and lessons. Learn to do—a learner applies how they learn to projects and Quest adventures. Learn to be—over time and through the process of learning to learn and do with much trial and error a learner defines who they are and they learn who they want to be. Learn to learn, do, and be is not just a fun slogan it defines the sequential journey of learning at Acton.

Today, I’d like to share a story of learn to learn. I was talking to a new Discovery learner a few days ago about her journey and she shared “I just don’t feel like I’m learning anything.” I leaned in and was absolutely fascinated by her statement. To me this learner was bursting with learning however it seemed like she was unaware. I dove in to inquiry and she kindly navigated with me as a fellow detective trying to find the case of her missing learning! I asked her a series of questions “How do you know when you are learning, does it feel a certain way? Do you have to reach a particular goal in order to declare you learned? Does learning only happen in core subjects like Math and Language or can it happen in friendships?” This particular learner attended a traditional school prior to Acton and has been acclimating to the learner-led world. These past few months she’s learned systems, accountability, how to ask for help, use resources, how to manage her time, make choices, focus when distracted, set goals, how to communicate when in conflict, and how to deepen friendships. This all is wildly complicated and takes great effort! Sure, she could spend more time on Khan Academy learning Math however all the learning she’s been exploring has been figuring out how she operates at Acton. This isn’t learning to know this is learning to learn which will have a greater impact on not just her academic progress this year but her entire life. Math will come later and will come much faster when she’s ready. After we solved the case of the missing learning she smiled largely and shared “I guess I didn’t really realize I’ve been learning because I thought learning felt different.”

Learning to learn at Acton isn’t a course you take where you regurgitate the correct answers for the test. Every learner is different and every learner must personally navigate their journey. The job of Guides is to check in, ask questions, and help learners explore their unique habits and best practices. Guides learn when a child needs a hug or needs space, when they need a body double to motivate them or when they need time to work on their own, when they need to feel heard or when they need space to reflect.

I’m not here to tell you how to parent but I will share that I personally have struggled with learning how my children work and communicate, especially because often they learn differently than me and they keep changing! In my view, the tiresome and heroic job of being a parent is to constantly observe and stay in the game. Here are a few tips that I’ve found useful when learning to learn about my children. If your learner hardly shares perhaps experiment with when you get curious such as after school, dinner time, bedtime routine, or while on a walk. I found that my daughter will only share when her legs are moving so we walk and bike ride and I hardly speak. When your child shares a problem ask them what a hero would do or what advice they’d give to a friend instead of telling them what to do. For me, my children stop talking when I share what I would do or my opinion. Sure, it definitely hurts and I want them to want my opinion but if I openly share it without either of us asking it changes the dynamic. I constantly remind myself to learn that parenting isn’t about me feeling good it’s about loving them where they are. Learning how I learn and learning my children has been my greatest challenge and greatest adventure.

Good luck heroic parents!